Saturday, May 15, 2010

How to Survive in an Office

1. Watch this video

2. Read this article or read my favourite part below - love you Elizabeth Sankey

"Be Careful Of Making Friends

Offices are magical, special places. They exist in a weird time warp where it’s always 1974, everyone looks the same, and there are no other people in the world except the ones enclosed within those four walls. That’s why they all care so bloody much about stationery and who’s used their mug – it’s all these people have goddamit. Due to everyone being dressed in the official uniform of depression, there is no way to distinguish what cultural business they’re into. Therefore you relate to everyone on a very basic level.

Imagine a nudist commune where you’re unable to contextualise people by their clothes, so you must simply judge them on their words and actions. In an office it’s exactly the same, except you judge them by the links they email you, and if they talk about good TV in the morning. This can be very beautiful as you start to discover people in a new way – for example you can tell instantly if someone’s a twat from whether or not they laugh at you when you can’t use the photocopier. However, it also means you find yourself forming desperate friendships with the first person who seems vaguely fun. That’s great, friends are great, but if you take them outside the office you will discover they’re COMPLETELY MENTAL. They’ll turn up at the pub in big white trainers, flared cords, and an Oasis T-shirt. Not even a real Oasis T-shirt, but one of the ones you can get in Topman that are made to look “Vintage”, but are in fact “Retro”.

It’s all well and good having an office friend, but never ever take that friendship outside the office."

3. Don't you think its probably time you did some work?

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